On my way home from a very bustle-filled day, I just got lost in the music. I got home and didn't even turn on the lights, I just undressed and set my pea-pod up to listen to Frances the Mute. I was in a weird mood. I just lay in bed staring up at the ceiling, watching shadows melt into shadows, becoming absorbed in the first track, Cygnus.... Vismund Cygnus. James got home and turned on some lights, which shook me somewhat out of my reverie, we chatted for a second or two, and I told him that I felt like I was on the cusp of a revelation. I tried to go back and finish the song (the end is my favorite part), but it just wasn't working. I went over to the couch and plopped my stereo headphones on, threw my two comforters over top of me, and became dis-bonded, disconnected, and severed from the world for an hour. I'm not sure if I realized anything, or if perhaps it was just meditation, but I do know that it was an experience I will remember. Certain things I saw in my time spent tonight may never happen, but I do so desperately wish that the next time I perform reiki, it is with a certain someone. I don't know if or when it will happen, but I.. I think it will be enlightening. I don't wish to do it for selfish reason, or maybe the underlying truth is that I do, nevertheless I can't shake the feelings that reside. Decay may occur; I don't want to be selfish.

Apologies for being so cryptic. Its been a strange day, and I'm in a strange mood. I really want to get a projector to put in my room, and point at the ceiling, so that I can perhaps set up a visualization/listening chamber for music. That was one of the.. more trivial things I daydreamed about. I would totally invite people over to just relax and drink with music. I don't know, but I think it would work out.

NighNite